January 2014 i was in accident and emergency begging for them to section me. I had no home no children no family no partner and no future. I never saw myself as having mental health issues for a long time thought it was all about suicide and eating disorders. what i was experiencing was horrendous and terrifying people would be talking at me could see their mouths moving, couldn't hear a sound they made. On my worst days i literally had to hold on to my settee because my mind was telling me if i jumped of my balcony i would fly. Other days id forget how to cross a road had a few near misses with buses i tell you.
I had hit pure rock bottom and was searching for a single reason to carry on the receptionist rang security and got me escorted off site. I realized that day that nobody was ever coming to save me i had to get up and save myself.
I met a new friend not long after this worlds apart he'd been a big chief for social workers me a lifelong social worker hater we had some clashes and i was so horrible to him at times. My friend got all my paperwork for me and introduced me to people he thought could help me. It was my friend who was invited to the first meeting to discuss the possibility of the csapt. He is an honorable man and had promised to do something with me that day so refused at first, then i was asked so he would go, I was just the spare part.
Until a sir giving a speech said children from care need extra help to be normal Me being the northern fish wife that i am screeched i beg your pardon and went into a passionate rant. The sir was so annoyed with me he left the building. The qc so impressed with me and out of respect for my fear of suits took his jacket off.
I spent the rest of the meeting thinking omg my friend is going to go mad there are professors and qcs and journalists here. Then it was over and every one was rushing over to hug me my friend was so chuffed and that was it the day i was started to be taken seriously as a survivor and a campaigner. My life has transformed since then. In all the voluntary work iv done with csapt iv helped heal my self. I will tell the story of my friend one day but only with his permission. You opened doors for me i never thought possible thank you from the bottom of my heart xx
This is where we are at now with ukcsapt its been amazing watching it grow im so proud to be a part of this
http://ukcsapt.org.uk/
sorry quick plug for our tshirts only available for 12 more days
https://www.tboom.co.uk/uk-child-sex-abuse-peoples-tribunal
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